DVD: "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3"

You know what the problem with terrorists is? They're lonely! I know this, because at the beginning of this movie, the first shot of Travolta, the bad guy, coincides with the first audible words, which are: "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one." That's the only line from the song that we hear, and it's even replayed, a little later, also on top of Travolta's hard-guy face. Terrorists are people, too - people who just need love! :)



("I Need a Hero," says John Travolta. Denzel, his new best friend, will be that hero, even though they're on Opposite Sides Of The Law. Much like "Point Break," this will make complete sense, even as the two sky-dive for like twenty minutes as the director does approx. forty lines of medium-grade coke.)

You know who else are in constant need of peace, love and understanding? African-American males. Remember "Dark Knight"? There's a boat of felons, and a boat of WASPs, and the Joker tells each group they have like an hour to push a button and destroy the other group or both groups will die? And one strong, proud African-American male felon stands up... and throws the button overboard? And there's stirring music? And it makes you feel Proud To Be An American? And everybody gets to live? So, in "Taking of Pelham 123," there's this African-American male hostage on the train, and he's wearing a ring that means he was in the Airborne, and this white mother lady asks him if he has a plan for getting out of being a hostage, and he says no, he hasn't really thought about it. Later, John Travolta chooses the white mother lady to kill, but at the last moment the African-American male stands up to take her place, saying, "This is the only plan I've got." And Travolta shoots him. And he's never mentioned again. And the white lady doesn't appear worried about what's happened? The Joker says, "Why so serious?" while Elvis Costello croons, "What's so funny?" And African-American males are all tied up in the middle. Middle, here, signifies inane, manipulative, bullshit movies about heroism and the cult of personality (of insecure, unloved white males).

Besides that moment - and the scene in which Denzel calls his wife to let her know he's going into the tunnel to meet Travolra, and he's going to die, but he loves her and all, and she's like, "You do what you have to do. But we need milk. So when you get done, bring home a gallon of milk," and her voice breaks, and there's a tinny piano on the soundtrack, and he says yes, he will bring home milk after he gets done doing what he has to do - and, right, jeez, the scene in which Denzel's in the helicoptor with his new mentor, and he mentor surveys all that is before him, and says, "I love New York from this perspective. It reminds you of what you're fighting for" - besides all that, or probably due to all that - I HEART THIS MOVIE. It is the funnest movie of its kind since "Man on Fire" (alcoholism + Dakota Fanning = REVENGE!!!).

Plus, right before it, they play the trailer to "2012." How is Cusak going to get away with wearing a Clash t-shirt in this one? Who cares! The White House is demolished by a fucking two-by-two ARC (!!!) named after Kennedy! I HEART CGI!